So, about a week ago I wanted to make a video about the fashion show though I didn’t get a chance to. Anyways here it goes! On the 17th, of April 2010 I was in my very first fashion show which I thoroughly enjoyed! People doubted that I would ever get as far as the fashion show and I did. The show was a success! I made some really good friends through the show and they will help me pursue a career in the entertainment industry. It just goes to show you that anything is possible and achievable when you are doing the things you love.
When you are in the moment of doing what you love generally all of your problems are not much of an issue. I was in my wheelchair from about 11:00AM to shortly after 4 in the afternoon for the show last week. I had no chance to lie down, I was extremely sore and really afraid that I would spasm during the show and mess up my routine. I did spasm during the show. I had spasms during both shows, (I did two on the same day) though do you know what? No one noticed. No one noticed me spasm in either show and my spasms were not as strong as they usually are. They weren’t as strong because I was enjoying myself, I was having fun doing what I love. And yeah, there is a lot of work involved with modelling, acting and writing though so what? It’s what I love.
The best advice I can give you is to make doing what you love in life a priority and the rest of it (life’s details) will follow. If something does not feel right then don’t do it. If I can attract real opportunities by pursuing my dreams, you can too! Thanks for watching and be well!
Aaaaaahh! I need to scream or barf or possibly do both! I need to vlog this before I go insane! Last Tuesday April 7th, I went to the doctors to find out the results of the MRI I had about a month ago now. Ugh, I could barf..anywhoo so apparently I have this rare condition called Patchegoria (can’t spell it) which means I have holes in my brain, I have a holy brain.
This condition is caused by abnormal cell migration and is what probably caused my Cerebral Palsy. There is no direct treatment for people with Patchegoria. I just looked it up and it’s actually Pachygyria which is not how the doctor pronounced it though whatevs. Pachygyria is fatal though the information I found was vague and a little contradictory. My mum said I’m not looking at the right sites, she said she found lots of info. My mum read that Pachygyria causes intense muscle spasms that could become lethal.
I have a lot of spasms every day which hurt like all hell and is why I spend a lot of time in bed. I have taken medication for it though most of the medications have side effects that I can’t tolerate very well. Some meds don’t work at all! It’s SO FRUSTRATING to feel debilitated by my spasms when I know in theory how to control them. I only spasm when I am stressed and unhappy.
I was in Cuba two weeks ago and I hardly spasmed. I only had to lie down for about an hour each day while I was in Cuba. Unhappiness and fear is my Kryptonite! Gaahh! This is my last year of high school regardless of whether I get my diploma or not because I'm turning 21 in September. I really want to graduate from high school! I also want to model and act! There’s so much more I want to do in my life and I am afraid that I won’t be able to do because of this Pachygyria thing.
So I’m sending out a call for help. If any of you know tricks and tips that might help me get through this tunnel please share them with me. Be well!
I haven’t made a video in a while because sometimes people find it hard to understand me. Plus subtitles take a long time for me to type. Then I thought to myself “So what? Why am I limiting myself like this?” I limit myself because I am afraid of failure and rejection though I shouldn’t allow my fears to control me and my life. I so badly want to be loved and accepted for who I am that I amplify certain aspects of myself for certain people and places. I have adopted the habit of projecting personas to try to fit into whatever situation I am experiencing. I know that personas aren’t a bad thing, for everything has a place and everyone projects them at times in varying degrees. However, I feel like I should start managing my habit especially if I am to do the things I want to do and become an established model, screenwriter, actor and human rights advocate. I must free myself from all the limitations that I perceive for myself only then will I be able to surpass the limitations that others perceive for me. I will try to post videos on YouTube on a more regular basis, this will help me to manage my emotions and free myself from limitations.
The internet gives me a lot of independence and freedom. It acts as an equalizer and levels the playing field. I find it harder to express myself in person due to my disability though online, pretty well everything is fair game! I spend a large amount of my time online checking my Facebook, Gmail and YouTube accounts.
I was on YouTube the other day and I watched a video from the Holons Network. There was something that was said within the video that really resonated with me. Jon and Ben were talking about making real connections with people via the online community. I put a lot of energy into making genuine connections online. Oh and I’ll put the link to part one of the video I just showed in the description box.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90V6TwWXjRA&feature=related
Thank you for your attention. I hope everyone is doing well! Until next time, be well!
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