Ever since my parents started moving, I’ve been very anxious about it. I’m moving into a new chapter of my life rather quickly and I find it to be a tad overwhelming. It is just a lot to take in at once. Also, the prospect of living on my own scares me a little. However, I really do not want to move three to five hours away with my parents. I love my mum and dad, though I am worried that if I stay with them, I may never live my dreams.
My parents are good parents, it’s just that they are getting older and it is getting harder for them to physically assist me. For instance, the Toronto Film School phoned me on Friday and said they would like to make an appointment with me. One of the school’s admissions people wants to have a face to face conversation and more accurately assess if their program is right for me. I have the beginnings of a plan to get to the film school without my parents’ help, though if things don’t work out, I won’t be able to go to the TFS.
My mum and dad went to check out houses yesterday, in Sarnia and when they came back, they were talking about building a house. So, I realize that we’re not moving “tomorrow”. The moral of the story is; in order to avoid freaking out due to my peaking anxiety, I must remember to pause and breathe every so often.
Hey my friends, I hope that you all are well! I feel that it is time to end my hiatus and give you an update on what’s going on. Plus, I want to let you know that I am very grateful to all of you who checks out my blog. Now on to the update!
People say that change is the only constant and they are right. Though what they don’t mention is how quickly things can change. I am presently in the midst of a major shift in my life. Some of the changes I am experiencing makes me excited, however, there are some that I am less enthusiastic about. For instance, applying for supportive housing in Toronto feels like a step in the right direction, whereas the thought of moving to Sarnia with my parents and younger siblings really stirs up my anxiety. Even though I am anxious about both moves, I’m worried that I am just going to get stuck at home in the small town where I don’t really know anyone. Now, please don’t get me wrong, I am aware that the possibility of me getting stuck exists in Toronto too, though the Gage Independent Living program that I have applied to will show me how to efficiently manage my physical care.
My plans to move to Toronto became concrete a week ago Monday, when I was filmed and interviewed for a documentary called Sexuality and Access Training. I went to the interview without my parents and it was so nice not to have to rely on them for their assistance. Also, being paid with cash rather than discounts and sample products was pretty sweet too. Not needing my parents’ help to be part of the film showed me that I can become quite successful within the entertainment industry as well as living on my own.
Again I come to realize that my Cerebral Palsy has very little to do with what is holding me back from achieving the life of my dreams. In fact the only thing that is getting in my way is the perception that I am limited by my so-called disability. Aimee Mullins once said that the only true disability is a crushed spirit. Please allow me to share with you aTED video of her that further explains my realization. Click on the link above to view the video. Take care!