"Cyborg Man" via Google Images

Yes, you read that correctly, sometime in the near future, I'm going to become more bionic. I am already sorta bionic with my spinal rods, and hip plate, however, I was talking with my mum this past weekend, and well, long story short, I have decided to get a Baclofen pump... Even though this is my choice, I don't relish the thought of a computerized hockey puck surgically implanted near the base of my spine. I have a lot of mixed feelings, and anxieties surrounding this notion.

For the longest time, I've been fervently against getting a pump because surgeries and I don't do well together, and a doctor said that there's a 75% chance that I could lose my upper-body mobility, which scares the hell out of me! I'm also afraid that if the pump is visible through my skin, I'd seem "more disabled," and...possibly even unattractive to a potential partner, casting director, and/or a talent agent, and ultimately face yet another rejection. Yes, I know this is an incredibly silly and shallow fear, but there it is. Though, every coin, or puck for that matter, has two sides, right?

A Baclofen pump could significantly reduce my spasms, and could help me handle being in my chair for longer periods. Therefore, I'd be able to accomplish  lots more without having my body revolt for weeks every time I'm up. It would also help give me the stamina to pursue my dreams like modeling, acting, and falling in love.

So yeah, becoming more bionic has its perks, and really, it all comes down to one question. Do I want to continue to spend 90% of my life in bed? I LOVE my bed - we have an amazing relationship, but sometimes a guy just needs his space, ya know?

Who am I? I am just a 24 year old guy who is trying to build a happy and meaningful life. I have Cerebral Palsy, and require assistance to complete all my tasks and activities of daily life. These tasks include eating, grooming, toileting, cooking, etc. I also need help out in the community to go on shopping, work-related, and leisurely excursions.

What am I trying to do? Well, to answer this, I shall start by sharing the following two videos.

I totally agree with Dayna! The media and entertainment industry plays a big role in our society, and maybe it’s time to use it to our advantage, no? This is part of why I wanted a protagonist who happens to have a disability. However, I would still like to get back into modeling and acting, as soon as I find the right people and assistance to help me.

Like the individuals in these videos, I am also trying to create change. A year ago, Starkeeper: Longing, my first graphic novel was published. Starkeeper is a science fiction story that follows Cal, a bullied, disabled teen whose life changes in ways that he never imagined, which led him to discover his powerful birthright. Since its publication, my novel has opened the door to a few opportunities where I got to share Cal’s journey as well as my own with other people with disabilities. Getting the chance to connect with people who have had similar experiences as me was awesome, and being able to let them know that they aren’t alone was even better! I would love to have many more opportunities like this, and incorporate them into a future career, alas I can’t achieve this without the necessary assistance, which I currently do not have.

Therefore, I am trying to find volunteers, a way to hire my own attendants, or some other avenue to get the help I need, so I can continue to build the happy life and career that I so desire.

I know I am a dreamer, but I don't think that my goals and aspirations are impossible, I just have to find a way to achieve them.

P.S. I have looked into the Direct Funding route, as you guys know, and I don’t think seven hours (which is the maximum allotment) would be enough for me, because there have been times when I was out all day.

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