Yes, you read that correctly, sometime in the near future, I'm going to become more bionic. I am already sorta bionic with my spinal rods, and hip plate, however, I was talking with my mum this past weekend, and well, long story short, I have decided to get a Baclofen pump... Even though this is my choice, I don't relish the thought of a computerized hockey puck surgically implanted near the base of my spine. I have a lot of mixed feelings, and anxieties surrounding this notion.
For the longest time, I've been fervently against getting a pump because surgeries and I don't do well together, and a doctor said that there's a 75% chance that I could lose my upper-body mobility, which scares the hell out of me! I'm also afraid that if the pump is visible through my skin, I'd seem "more disabled," and...possibly even unattractive to a potential partner, casting director, and/or a talent agent, and ultimately face yet another rejection. Yes, I know this is an incredibly silly and shallow fear, but there it is. Though, every coin, or puck for that matter, has two sides, right?
A Baclofen pump could significantly reduce my spasms, and could help me handle being in my chair for longer periods. Therefore, I'd be able to accomplish lots more without having my body revolt for weeks every time I'm up. It would also help give me the stamina to pursue my dreams like modeling, acting, and falling in love.
So yeah, becoming more bionic has its perks, and really, it all comes down to one question. Do I want to continue to spend 90% of my life in bed? I LOVE my bed - we have an amazing relationship, but sometimes a guy just needs his space, ya know?