To me, fearlessness means being afraid, and not letting your fears stop you from achieving your goals.
Two of my major goals right now are to live independently in Toronto, and improve my self worth. Last week went quite well, the only unpleasant thing that happened was when one of my support workers kept refusing to do what I asked of her. This has been an ongoing issue with this particular person, but I haven’t really spoken to anyone about it except to her and family. I didn’t want to hurt her, nor having her mad at me. However, last week was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had enough, so I emailed my supervisor, and she came by today to talk about it. My support worker has been better this week, and I really don’t like creating waves or making people angry, therefore I wanted to let it slide. Plus, I don’t want my worker to think that I’m suddenly unappreciative of her. I feel very nauseous and anxious because of all this. However, I want to achieve my goals, so I an not going to let my fears stop me from standing up for myself.
I have to be comfortable with advocating for myself, especially if I want to move out. So in the end, and in spite of my anxiety, I feel that I’ve made the right decision.